what a ridiculous sobbing mess i will be at every tiny little life moment. jesus.
today on my way to work, winding through cambridge streets and being cut off by various massholes that don't know how to drive (what is it with this place?), i happened upon a man standing on the side of the road with a long piece of cardboard. he had written on it "lost my job. lost my house. i have a fourteen year old girl and my wife left. i'd like to get my daughter something for christmas. please help." now, regardless of his story and his truth this made my eyes well up and a huge lump catch in my throat. it hurt to look. it hurt to look away. and then for the rest of my commute i listed in my head all of the things i am so, so grateful for and arrived at 7:50 still crying and frantically wiping my face and pinching myself in hopes i would quit it.
then! then, hours later, i'm looking through photos of a college friend who just got married this fall. in almost every single one of the photos from her wedding she is laughing her huge laugh. besides making me miss her/college, it made me so insanely happy for her. heart-achingly happy for her. and i started to cry with this happiness.
what is wrong with me?
since when did i turn into my mother?
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