on thursday before the last weekend before the wedding (does that even make sense?) will and i sat upstairs after dinner and worked on our vows together. when we were finished, we decided to read them to each other, just the rough draft and save the final draft for the actual ceremony. that night was so special, and in a way, almost more special than the actual ceremony itself. we are both people that feel intense discomfort at being the center of anything, so we decided that just reading through our vows to each other privately would help us to remember the reason we were doing this to begin with on the day of in hopes that we wouldn't freak out too much at the prospect of standing up in front of so many people. we both sobbed our way through that first reading. it was ridiculous. like really, really ridiculous. but also awesome and special and sacred and everything that vows should be. still now when i think back on the ceremony, it was that thursday a week before that gives me the biggest heart smile.
and as far as the final draft of our vows at the ceremony? that didn't really happen. i stumbled through mine and left out portions because i couldn't see through my tears and got all mixed up because of nerves, and will just ended up talking to me instead of reading from what he wrote. if i could go back in time to the wedding day, i'd tell myself to calm the fuck down. seriously! i was PANICKED by the people that were showing up. and so when it came time for the ceremony, i felt like i was having an out-of-body experience and was not really present with what was happening. all of that was okay now that i think back on it, all because we had read together beforehand and got to share privately our vows written for each other.
so if you are anything like me or will, i suggest doing a special read-through before the ceremony. plus that whole next week leading up to the fourteenth, i kept on reflecting on that night and the things will said to me and feeling this intense love from him and for him. it felt like nothing else mattered that entire week. so that was a pretty great feeling going into our wedding day.
i have no photo from this, but i'll post one just because i said i would:
